Something Other

I have a class that is a whole class dedicated to syntax, to writing sentences. We recently had an assignment that required us to write the first three sentences of our would-be autobiography using suspensive or periodic syntax, which is basically a fancy way of saying, The end of the sentence is the most important part; or, Until you get to the end of the sentence you won’t understand it.  So, naturally, I did the assignment. I talked about how I was born in Austin (to this day—and I realize I’m only 19 years old—one of the best cities I have ever been to) and how the hospital was called St. David’s hospital; I built a nice set of sentences, but there was something missing. It wasn’t right. I did the assignment but it wasn’t the actual start of my autobiography. But then I did the assignment again. And it produced what will now be the opening sentence of my autobiography:

 

“Though a darkness often surrounds and suffocates my heart, restraining and hindering my spirit, though the ominous cloud of depression hangs over me—hangs over me the way a rain-cloud follows only one character in a cartoon, hounding him from left to right as he tries to escape it—though feelings and thoughts of death often haunt my mind, though I focus much sharper on the evil in man's heart rather than its good, my life has been permeated by something other than that darkness, something other than that evil, something other than that death: grace—scandalous, despicable grace.”

 

As I’ve gotten farther into this life of following Jesus, I have realized several things. Firstly, it can really suck at times. For all of the health-and-wealth gospel preachers out there, What you teach is complete bullshit. Here’s why: If producing fruit and serving God, giving your money to him, gets you earthly wealth—money and riches and Escalades—then what did Jesus do wrong? I mean, Jesus was perfect and he got nailed to a tree. God doesn’t promise an easy life; in fact, I would say the Christian life is much more difficult than life without Christ (in some ways but not in all). There is certainly a large amount of suffering in the Christian life.

 

You know infomercials? Those amazing commercials that go on forever and ever without the real smiley guy or gal explaining how awesome his or her product is? Let’s make one for Christianity, trying to sell you to believe in Jesus:

 

*commercial starts; a man in a power suit sits and reads a Bible at an executive-sized desk covered with books; he puts the book down and makes eye contact with the camera; man has a thick, brown beard*

 

Man with Suit: Howdy there, how’re y’all doin’ tonight?

 

*man’s voice is loud and overbearing; he’s almost shouting*

 

Man with Suit: I know what you’re thinkin’: What could I possibly learn from a man in a suit with a Bible? Well, let me tell ya—A LOT!

 

*man laughs hysterically for roughly ten seconds; then he gathers himself and looks directly at the camera with a straight face*

 

Man with Suit: 2000 years ago lived a man—the Son of Gawd, in fact—and he lived a perfeck life here on this piece’a dirt we call earth. After that, he got nailed ta a tree because he loved you an’ me. He wanted us to be called sons uh Gawd.

 

*man’s voice is still loud and overbearing; a smile begins to form—slowly—on his face*

 

Man with Suit: Because he died we getsta live lifes in service ta him.

 

*man checks his watch and looks at the camera with great distress but then smiles widely*

 

Man with Suit: Uh-oh! My time is runnin out! Before I go let me tell you what YOU—as a follower of Christ—could go through: Peter, one’a Jesus’s disciples, got nailed on a tree, too. Only he got crucified upside down! Stephen, another follower of Christ, had rocks thrown at’im till his head sploded! Paul, who wrote lotsa the New Testament, was always gettin the tar beat outta him and thrown in a jail!

 

*man smiles and awkwardly stares at camera in silence; he then throws open his arms like he is embracing a long-lost loved one*

 

Man with Suit: SO—if you wanna get nailed to a tree, get rocks thrown atcha, get beaten, or go to jail, follow Jesus by calling this toll-free number: 1-800-GET-KILD

 

*screen fades away to the show you were previously watching: The Office*

 

Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I got carried away—but the point is, you shouldn’t expect a life—when following Jesus—that is easy or not filled (completely filled!) with suffering. Our expectations should be such that we will endure painful lives, but these lives glorify our wonderful God who, in the end, saves us from eternal damnation for his name’s sake.

 

Before the infomercial I was talking about the things I have learned in the Christian life. First, we will suffer. Another thing I’ve learned is that the joys of the Christian life far outnumber the pains. It’s amazing to me that I can go almost anywhere in the entire world and have something in common with someone; and not something small or artificial, like that we both skateboard or like the Beatles, but something deep and everlasting—that we worship the same, the one and true God; that we both believe in the death and resurrection of Christ.

 

As you know, I struggle with depression. And every once and a while it gets to a point where it definitely shouldn’t, but when I am close to Christ, when I am daily throwing my baggage onto him, it vanishes almost completely. He alleviates so many of my problems I can’t even begin to explain it.

 

A third thing I have learned is that nothing matters except what Jesus says matters. There are lots of things to do in this world, in this country. There are too many things to do, actually. We are attacked with so many advertisements and new things that say, You won’t be happy until you buy me or experience me; that we often can sin by simply not giving the Lord our time or attention. It’s sad, really; it’s sad how ingrained Satan is to this country but we don’t hardly acknowledge it at all.

 

The most fulfilling things I have done in my life have been things for others. Isn’t that ironic? (The answer is yes.) Grace is the only thing that matters, people. Grace encompasses all others: love, fear, hope, service, loyalty, motivation, desire, peace.

 

God is grace.