The Email

I’m listening to “Guerilla Radio” right now by Rage Against the Machine; my fingers are shaking as I touch the keyboard, double-tapping letters and misspelling words, because I haven’t been this angry perhaps ever. I’m seething. My blood is boiling and my heart is thumping out of my chest. The way you feel when someone insults your family or hurts someone you love. The way you feel when your Lord is assaulted, when your Lord is shown disrespect, when your Lord, when the Lord, is spat upon.

 

I’m in a fiction writing class and I wrote a story that says the infamous “f-word” and deals with violence and racism, and it’s a great story; it’s well written and contains multiple themes, motifs, and symbols. It’s a damn good story. It’s a great story that doesn’t offend anybody’s world-view, that is, unless you are a racist psychopath murderer. If you are, don’t read my story because it will offend you.

 

So our teacher sent out the stories we’re supposed to read for Monday. You see, four students write a story and the class critiques it. I got the stories about two hours ago. One of the stories was written by a guy, we’ll call him Jude, who is a Philosophy-Math double major (brief pause—my fingers are still shaking because I’m still seething). Jude is not a Christian, and apparently Jude also hates Christians and the idea of Christ being the Son of God, and the fact that God even exists bothers him to. It bothers him to the point that he just loves to hate on Jesus.

 

You know those people who are fans of a certain football team, but all they do is trash-talk the rival team? Jude is one of those guys. Jude is one of those guys who demands respect but doesn’t give it. Jude is one who doesn’t talk about his own (extremely insignificant) beliefs but other peoples’ beliefs. Jude is one of those guys who is all about tolerance but, oh so ironically, shows none. Jude is one of those people who write stories attacking Jesus Christ. People like Jude anger me. My temper is not terribly quick; there aren’t many things in this dismal world that anger me to the point of wishful violence. Jude is one of those things. Let me just get this out: right now if he walked into the room I would hit him in the face until he has brain damage. I’m sorry but I needed that out.

 

Now, all that you have just read is me speaking. It’s Hunter speaking. It’s the human side of Hunter speaking. It’s the side of Hunter that doesn’t have Jesus, the Jesus that Jude so horribly misinterpreted.

 

Here’s the side that Hunter is now: I love Jude. I love him and am praying for him. I am praying to God that Jude will come to a knowledge of Him. I will not respond like-mindedly but in love, however that may be. I love Jude and beneath the anger my heart breaks for Jude. This isn’t Hunter speaking but Christ. This is the Holy Spirit. This is YHWH: I love Jude. I would not be able to love Jude right now if it weren’t for Christ. Thank the Lord.

 

Here is an email I sent my teacher after reading Jude’s story:

 

"Okay, this is probably really annoying for you to have to deal with, but I have to ask about it.

 

I read Jude’s story, and, as a Christian, found it extremely offensive, and not only offensive but, to a certain extent, naive and uninformed. But most certainly offensive. I find it very ironic that so many non-Christians cry for "tolerance" and yet show many of my brothers and sisters none or very little. So, I'm presented with a huge dilemma: if I were to go with the initial feelings I have of the story's theme and ridiculous portray of Christ, I would most likely lash out and semi-attack his story, but I know that's not what Christ would want me to do (somehow I don't think that's the Christ Jude knows). He would have me respond in love. I'm attacked, I feel attacked, and not only am I attacked but God and His Son are attacked. There are really only a few things that anger me, and this is the one that angers me most. It's so damn hard for me to exercise any self-control at all.

 

How would this fare in older times? If I were a loyal vassal of a lord in Medieval times, I'd think I'd respond with violence, or at least some verbal defense. My Lord has been attacked, so what am I to do? Certainly the uncontrolled passion in me right now says attack back, isn't that the natural, "human" thing to do? But no, that's not what my Lord teached, despite what so many people think. He teaches love.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of idiot Christians out there, and I hate dealing with that fact. I apologize on behalf of them: for the Crusades, for the violence so many people have committed in the name of God, for the Church's stagnancy in the Civil Rights' movement, for the many of the deeply-racist churches in the South and in Dallas where I'm from. I'm sorry for anything that any Christian has every done wrongly to you, Miss Briggs. I apologize and hope that you see that's not ever what Jesus wanted. It breaks His heart and it breaks mine, greatly. I am sorry.

 

Back to our situation here. Here's what I figure is best for me to do, but I would like you to OK it first: There's enough I don't love about the story stylistically that I could fill half a page, so can I do that and just ignore the offensive nature of the theme? I am trying to see what He would have me do, and right now that is the only thing I can come up with.

 

I'm sorry you had to hear all that.

 

Peace, hunter"