Change

To me, New Years is bittersweet and, ultimately, disappointing. It is so for this reason: when a New Year comes around we have hopes and dreams of change and newness, of redemption and second chances, of a clean slate. But as the year goes by and we don’t get our resolutions done (I realize some people actually do) we see that the change and newness hasn’t come, but that we are still the same. I think that New Years is so fragile because we look for things in the New Year that only God can provide: I want to start doing things that I haven’t been and stop doing things I have been, but God is the only Changer of Hearts. A calendar or four-digit number changes nothing.

 

When New Years comes I don’t really know what to do. In the past I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions either because I think I’m anti-establishment (I realize I’m not) or because I always fail at them, and even if I succeed the fruit never tastes as good as it looked in my mind. At the end of December I put a bunch of hopes and dreams on myself, which just adds to the burden I already bear, and when I fail at the things I put on myself, it increases the yoke even more.

 

So here is what I am not going to do this New Year:

-I am not going to make any New Year’s resolutions for myself.

-I am not going to place any hope in myself alone.

-I am not going to try to feel new by myself.

-I am not going to try to rely on myself for change.

-I am not going to try to be my own redeemer.

 

Here’s what I think I’ll do:

-I am going to beg God to take my yoke.

-I am going to tell God to change me.

-I am going to scream at the Lord for redemption and forgiveness.

-I am going to fall flat on my face in the full glory of His radiance.

-I am going to count on the fact that God has New Year’s plans for me, so I don’t have to worry about it.

 

 

 

(make Him do it, He likes it that way)