Testify

I’ll be honest with you. Which is a struggle, because this is public. I struggle with depression. I have told some of you, to some it might have been obvious, and to some it might be a surprise. But I do.

            The official definition of depression (in shrink terms) is “anger turned inwards,” and I initially thought that was bullshit. And then I thought about it—it seemed plausible a week later—probable a month after that—and definite now. I get angry with a lot of things, as you have noticed. I have railed against the church, America, and my fellow brothers in Christ. I rail against myself more than you know. 

  I ask, if I have offended you, for your forgiveness. 

            When I have considered the church, I have been considering its inadequacies, faults, low points, and falls. I have failed to include the success, change, and most importantly the glory to God that the church has achieved and is achieving. For example, in most every movement regarding human rights and life there is a Christian at the forefront.

Dr. King, a man highly inspired by our Lord Christ, fought for the rights of African-Americans and succeeded—dispensing grace at a national level and reflecting God’s care for the mistreated. His faith inspired him to be one of the greatest Americans ever.

 When slavery was prominent in the 18^th and 19^th centuries a British politician, who underwent a powerful conversion, stood up and raised his voice against the evils of slavery. Through inward faith this man let God use him in Parliament, and in 1807 the Slave Trade Act was passed which discontinued slave trade but still allowed for slavery. He continued to fight and, drawing from the spirit of our Lord Christ, his goal was achieved. The Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 outlawed slavery in almost every part of the British Empire. Three days after receiving this news, William Wilberforce died and rose to our father YHWH.

            America—oh America. Like all countries, we have our ups and we have our downs. I have used my free speech to haze the downs and I will now use our Lord’s grace to laud our successes. Whether I realize it or now, this country has provided freedom and liberty to thousands and millions of immigrants. We have free education—what an amazing concept? Think about that. This summer I went to Nigeria, a country that does not have free education, and the difference is obvious. When the people are uneducated they are easier to control.

Freedom of speech—I use this all the time to bash things. In the past I’d be hanging off a piece of wood or burning at a stake. But I’m still here, in Iowa City listening to girly music.

Freedom of religion. This is perhaps the greatest feat of America—the separation of church and state. Because, God forbid, when church and state become intermingled, shit happens. Our system was brilliantly—and I repeat brilliantly—designed by our fathers to last. The freedom of religion draws all types of people and greatly catalyzes the gospel. Think about this—what if we lived in a country that only allowed Christianity. That would suck. That would be the worst. People have tried that and it sucks. The scandalous nature of grace loves freedom of religion—because when there is freedom of religion grace shows what it truly is. You can’t legislate people into heaven—and God realized this when He designed our country.

Think about what America has overcome. In less than 200 years African-Americans have gone from slaves to running for president. How amazing. That stuns me when I actually think about it. Even 100 years ago African-Americans still didn’t have full civil rights—poll taxes and literacy tests and pure discrimination prevented them from the voting booth. But now Barack Obama’s name will be on the voting ballot when African-Americans enter the booth.

Lastly, while I get angry towards my own brothers at home and in my local churches, I cannot deny the grace that has been extended and the love our Father has dispensed through these people.

 I have seen non-believers come to Christ because of my friends. I have seen Nigerian orphans lifted to the sky because of my brothers, my sisters. I have seen Mexican children run in the rain under a rainbow with my brothers and sisters from the church. I have heard stories of the gospel being shared and dispensed to hurting people—and people who have been hurt by the church in the past. The church is spreading like wildfire in places like China and Africa, and when it is presented with love like I have seen it spreads like wildfire anywhere.