Nineteen Eighty-Four

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

"The two aims of the Party are to conquer the whole surface of the earth and to extinguish once and for all the possibility of independent thought."

"At all times the Party is in possession of absolute truth, and clearly the absolute can never have been different from what it is now."

"The more the Party is powerful, the less it will be tolerant; the weaker the opposition, the tighter the despotism."

"The Party is immortal."

You are the Party.

I am the Party. 

(Title Title)

Numb Numb Numb 

Numb Numb

Numb 

Numb 

Numb

Numb

Numb

Numb

Numb

(Title Title Title)

Cigarettes

Pipes

Walks 

Coats

Jackets

Laundry

Books

Nineteen-Eighty Four

Bible

iPod

Government

Genocide

PLaygrounds

Coffee

Tea

Tea

Breakfast

Applejacks 

Computer

Phone

Counting Crows

Time

Now

Now

Now Now Now

Now

Now

Walk

Suit

Purple Blue Gray

Gray Gray Blue Gray

Window

Glass

Shatter 

Blade

Change Change Change

Hosea

Humble 

Cross

Blood

Guts

Entrails 

Evil 

Religious

Change Change Change Change Change

Dipped 

In 

Blood

Fire Flame

Skin

Skin

Skin

Skin 

Scratch Skin

Feel

Feel Feeling Felt Scratch Skin

Hair Pulled Skin Scratched 

She's Alright With Me

Josh the Quarterback has taught me something very simple but very profound, like when you find out for the first time that life isn’t a story about you but somebody else. Josh taught me to think about Jesus every time I read the Bible. It’s simple, right? It wasn’t for me and I still have to remind myself to think about it every time I read the Bible.

For example, I love Psalm 121. The first time I read this Psalm in honesty was when I was dealing with some problems and I asked B for Brice for something to read. He told me to read Psalm 121. I read Psalm 121. Over and over. I still read Psalm 121 over and over. In the mornings, when I eat par fee, I sometimes open my Bible to Psalm 121. It’s a very comforting Psalm and it makes you feel safe. Not safe like something bad isn’t going to happen, but safe like when something bad does happen, God will make it okay. So, I took the suggestions of B for Brice and Josh the Quarterback and fused them. I added my own worldview also.

1.     1. Read Psalm 121.

2.     2. Read Psalm 121 with Jesus in mind.

3.     3. Read Psalm 121 like a poem or a song, analyzing diction, verb tense, themes, parallels, and repetition.

The first word in the Psalm is “I.” The first subject introduced by the Psalmist is himself, and, even further, the reader. When you or I sit to read this we begin by declaring “I.” Immediately following our declaration comes our action “will lift.” The diction used in the first verb suggests ascension. To lift means to bring something upward, into a higher position. We are elevating something. But, what’s even more, the act of lifting becomes a sacrifice.

In Exodus 29, right after the Ark of the Covenant has been built, God gives instructions on how to perform animal sacrifices. He says, “You shall offer up in smoke the whole ram on the alter; it is a burnt offering to the LORD: it is a soothing aroma, an offering by fire to the LORD.”

Several things strike me about this verse. The first, as I have italicized, is that, like in Psalm 121, the Israelites were told to “offer up” the ram. Ascension. Up! The second is that God wanted the “whole ram.” The ram has just been cut into pieces in verse 17, and God lays out instructions (laws and ordinances) that have every part of the ram “offered up.” Other versions, as Josh and I discovered, do not use the actual phrase “offer up.” But, even if the Hebrew doesn’t denote lifting in the language, think about the physical process the priest would go through with the ram. He had to cut his legs and entrails and stuff, and then he would have to put the ram on the altar. He had to lift the ram onto the altar.

The third thing that strikes me is that God uses his name, YHWH. When “LORD” is seen in all capitals it means, in most Bibles, that God’s personal name YHWH is being used. In Jewish culture, even today, this name is sacred. It is very different than the Hebrew word that is translated “God” or “Lord” in the Bible, ­Adonai, which refers to the lordship of God, the ruling King in Heaven. The literal translation of YHWH is almost untraceable. I won’t pretend to even be able to talk about the meaning of YHWH but I can tell you that it’s God’s name. His personal name.

The first three words of the Psalm present the writer or reader presenting a sacrifice. The next phrase introduces the object being acted upon, “my eyes.” We, I, you, are “lifting” our eyes just as the ram was “offered up” to God, as a burnt offering in smoke. Next, the Psalmist introduces another image of ascension. To where, and to whom, do we “lift” our “eyes” to? We lift our eyes to the “mountains.” We aren’t just lifting our eyes up to an altar. We are lifting our eyes up to the mountains, physical representations of the grand ascendency of God, of YHWH.

After this we ask a question: “From where shall my help come?” Notice that both verbs used so far have been future tense. We “will lift” our eyes and where “shall” our help come from. But now, since we have posed the question, we answer the obvious. Who lives in the mountains? Who is the only one worthy of offering sacrifices to?

“My help comes from the LORD.” Two things: we have addressed our Adonai personally, citing his name YHWH. The second: in the NASB words that are italicized are not in the original Hebrew, so the literal translation would be, “My help from the LORD.” Comes is merely implied. That’s awesome to me because here’s what it does: it literally takes away time. It just is. It was. It will be. “My help from the LORD.”

We don’t offer sacrifices to God because we are good. We offer sacrifices to God in response to who He is and what He has done for us. God has helped us, He helps us, and He will help us, we realize it, and then we seek Him. This is awesome because it puts all the glory in God’s jealous hands. We can’t do anything good that isn’t a response to God, and seeking His help is no different. The act of seeking help becomes a sacrifice itself because, in that act, we depend on God to be accepted, like is done in a sacrifice.

We describe our Lord, our Adonai, by saying He is the ONE “who made heaven and earth.” God is not a god who lives on Mount Olympus and feuds like a child with Legos. YHWH created, ex nihil, the heavens and the earth. YHWH is the original artist who, unlike any artist since, created something out of nothing. He had no canvas. No paint even. Yet here we are, lifting our eyes to the mountains.

Imagine you are on a journey, with three of your friends. You are American and you decide it’d be awesome to go Pakistan and climb a mountain or climb up the highlands. Probably not the smartest idea, but you go anyway. When you get off the plane and unload your supplies you notice that people stare at you and it gives you that feeling on the inside when you know you might possibly be in danger. You’re brave, so you go to the foot of the mountain and start your trek. You make good progress but soon the sun leaves you and you set up camp. There are four of you, so you divide the night into quarters to keep watch. The first watch starts and does great, even the second guy didn’t fall asleep. But when Doug, the third watch, is about an hour into his duty, he falls asleep. Damn it. You wake up and there are guns pointed to your head. The Taliban, whose numbers have increased since the “War on Terror” began, smile nice smiles. You look at Doug, “Damn it Doug.” You get shot, but it’s okay because you go to heaven. But still! Damn it Doug! Why did you fall asleep? Why didn’t you keep your watch over us?

“He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.” Imagine yourself on that trip again, climbing the treacherous rocks, sleeping in the frightful night. Now imagine that, instead of Doug, YHWH is your watchman. You no longer have to divide the night into four shifts, because YHWH says He’ll take care of it. Not only does He say that, but He also tells you that you won’t slip on the rocks. He won’t let you fall. Our God is an awesome. He keeps watch as we climb, as we lift our eyes to Him on our trek to His Kingdom.

Again, in verse four, it is repeated that “He . . . will neither slumber nor sleep.” Repetition is big in any language, and Hebrew is no different. The Psalmist repeats the word “sleep” or “slumber” three times. God won’t do this. We are safe!

That’s the first half. I need to go eat. I still need to tie Jesus into this Psalm like Josh the Quarterback says. I’ll do the second half of the Psalm in another blog, and then a third bringing Jesus into the mix. Peace.

 

Norah Jones Turns Me On

When I read the New Testament, and the whole Bible for that matter, I like to keep in mind that meals were a big deal. In Exodus 12, during the first Passover, God tells the people to spread the blood of the lamb on the doorpost. That’s the part we remember, right? Put the blood on the door and you’ll be saved. Saving blood isn’t something unfamiliar to us. A part that we often look over during the Passover is that, after the blood-on-the-doorpost thing, God told the people to “Eat the flesh that same night, roasted with fire.” With the lamb’s roasted flesh you were supposed to eat unleavened bread and bitter herbs. God saves us. Then God tells us to eat.

            Parallels, people. The Bible is a story. There are metaphors and images and themes and repetitions. Jesus died and saved us with His blood. Like the lamb. We ate the lamb. We eat Jesus. Remember communion? If you don’t buy the parallel yet, then look at the fact that the Lord’s Supper first took place on Passover. Oh yeah, and we call Jesus the Lamb of God. “This is my body which is given for you.” We eat the bread. “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My Blood.” We drink the wine.

Stop. Think about that for a moment. God, the Creator of everything, came down from Heaven in the form of Jesus. But He didn’t just come and hang out. (That’s what I would have done, if I had been Jesus on earth. I would have made a Corvette appear or a Hum-V and I would have driven around and picked up all the pretty Jewish girls and I would have given myself wings and a really intense drum set. Good thing I’m not Jesus.) He came and gave His body for you. He said that. He gave his blood for you. Most days I don’t give my time to Jesus, let alone my body or my blood.

 Damn it God is way cool. Staggeringly cool. Read Hosea. I love Hosea. Because in Hosea God tells us He’s going to burn us and punish us but then He gets all flustered with love because He loves us so much. In chapter 11 God says, “My heart is turned over within me, all my compassions are kindled.” I know the feeling of my heart turning over in my chest—but I don’t know the feeling of my heart turning over for someone who betrays me every day and stabs me and commits “flagrant harlotry” as God calls it in chapter 1 of Hosea. Blood. Redemption. Food. Party with God.

            During breakfast the other day I was eating my homemade par fee and I thought to myself, “Hunter, if meals were so drastically important to God and Jesus, think about how important fasting must be.” Every time God saves us we get a consecrating meal. And we are also called to fast. To live without physical food and to only dwell on the endless spiritual food that is the truth, that is our Christ, my Messiah. Fasting seems a lot more important when the value of meals to God is considered.

            Let’s consider time. The actual Passover happened in the past, thousands of years ago. God sent the plagues over the crazy Egyptians and then He saved, past tense, the families who spread the blood and ate the lamb. Now consider Christ, who, every day, is saving us with His blood. Present tense. God saved the Israelites with blood and food. Christ saves us with blood and food. In Revelation John was told, “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the lamb.” It’s a wedding feast. We have the food but where’s the blood? Several verses later John describes his sighting of our Christ, who was “clothed with a robe dipped in blood. Food. Blood. Redemption, restoration, and fulfillment. Christ will save us with blood and food. Awesome.

            At that same breakfast, when I was thinking about meals and fasting, I thought about something Josh the Quarterback said to me. Josh the Quarterback told me that I shouldn’t eat alone so much. I dismissed the comment at first but then, at that magical breakfast, it hit me. Damn it! I need to eat with people! Food is communion. Food is fellowship. Food is intimacy. I’ve been lonely a lot (most of which is my fault because I don’t want to make new friends easily because I miss my friends back home). I’m eating lunch with someone today so hopefully the eating-with-people thing will get going. 

Testify

I’ll be honest with you. Which is a struggle, because this is public. I struggle with depression. I have told some of you, to some it might have been obvious, and to some it might be a surprise. But I do.

            The official definition of depression (in shrink terms) is “anger turned inwards,” and I initially thought that was bullshit. And then I thought about it—it seemed plausible a week later—probable a month after that—and definite now. I get angry with a lot of things, as you have noticed. I have railed against the church, America, and my fellow brothers in Christ. I rail against myself more than you know. 

  I ask, if I have offended you, for your forgiveness. 

            When I have considered the church, I have been considering its inadequacies, faults, low points, and falls. I have failed to include the success, change, and most importantly the glory to God that the church has achieved and is achieving. For example, in most every movement regarding human rights and life there is a Christian at the forefront.

Dr. King, a man highly inspired by our Lord Christ, fought for the rights of African-Americans and succeeded—dispensing grace at a national level and reflecting God’s care for the mistreated. His faith inspired him to be one of the greatest Americans ever.

 When slavery was prominent in the 18^th and 19^th centuries a British politician, who underwent a powerful conversion, stood up and raised his voice against the evils of slavery. Through inward faith this man let God use him in Parliament, and in 1807 the Slave Trade Act was passed which discontinued slave trade but still allowed for slavery. He continued to fight and, drawing from the spirit of our Lord Christ, his goal was achieved. The Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 outlawed slavery in almost every part of the British Empire. Three days after receiving this news, William Wilberforce died and rose to our father YHWH.

            America—oh America. Like all countries, we have our ups and we have our downs. I have used my free speech to haze the downs and I will now use our Lord’s grace to laud our successes. Whether I realize it or now, this country has provided freedom and liberty to thousands and millions of immigrants. We have free education—what an amazing concept? Think about that. This summer I went to Nigeria, a country that does not have free education, and the difference is obvious. When the people are uneducated they are easier to control.

Freedom of speech—I use this all the time to bash things. In the past I’d be hanging off a piece of wood or burning at a stake. But I’m still here, in Iowa City listening to girly music.

Freedom of religion. This is perhaps the greatest feat of America—the separation of church and state. Because, God forbid, when church and state become intermingled, shit happens. Our system was brilliantly—and I repeat brilliantly—designed by our fathers to last. The freedom of religion draws all types of people and greatly catalyzes the gospel. Think about this—what if we lived in a country that only allowed Christianity. That would suck. That would be the worst. People have tried that and it sucks. The scandalous nature of grace loves freedom of religion—because when there is freedom of religion grace shows what it truly is. You can’t legislate people into heaven—and God realized this when He designed our country.

Think about what America has overcome. In less than 200 years African-Americans have gone from slaves to running for president. How amazing. That stuns me when I actually think about it. Even 100 years ago African-Americans still didn’t have full civil rights—poll taxes and literacy tests and pure discrimination prevented them from the voting booth. But now Barack Obama’s name will be on the voting ballot when African-Americans enter the booth.

Lastly, while I get angry towards my own brothers at home and in my local churches, I cannot deny the grace that has been extended and the love our Father has dispensed through these people.

 I have seen non-believers come to Christ because of my friends. I have seen Nigerian orphans lifted to the sky because of my brothers, my sisters. I have seen Mexican children run in the rain under a rainbow with my brothers and sisters from the church. I have heard stories of the gospel being shared and dispensed to hurting people—and people who have been hurt by the church in the past. The church is spreading like wildfire in places like China and Africa, and when it is presented with love like I have seen it spreads like wildfire anywhere. 

You're Everybody's Satellite, I Wish That You Were Mine

Hold up. Before you get scared of me being a liberal, antiwar, anti-country hippy, hear me out. I love the Lord, I really do. Well, I do some of the time. I think it's really hard for somebody to love the Lord most of the time. But, that's not the point, the point is that I love God. So put the phone down, you don't need to call my shrink or a republican politician. But, if you do, make sure they can see Russia AND Canada from their state. (That was a joke)

Here's the point: my class on Walt Whitman has been very enlightening in terms of my calling. So Mr. Fundy, if you are reading, you should be ashamed of yourself. Especially because you are the one who taught me that class and now your friend Walt is being used by God to show me what I need to do. Here's an excerpt from a journal I wrote, it's about renegades. People who pay the price for having passion for something: 

Renegades pay a price: Christ was crucified, Dr. King was assassinated, Mother Teresa lived among the lepers, Lincoln was hated, Gandhi was killed, Monet was destitute, and Whitman was the lonely spokesman of body and soul. These icons did not “heap up what is called riches” (Sec. 11 of "Song of the Open Road"). These heroes received “an irresistible call to depart,” and they were treated with “ironical smiles and mocking.” The call to become a renegade isn’t enjoyable; it’s not made easy. Jessie’s judgment upon the inwardly tortured Whitman opens the conversation to the meaning of Whitman’s call, the truths in Whitman’s poems. The end result has been realized: to be a renegade is to pay a heavy price. But this realization only begs the question, what is to be renegade?

Urban affection seems to characterize Walt Whitman. As he traveled through the hospital tents during the war he lavished his love upon numerous wounded soldiers. But urban affection does not encompass the “destructive” way of all renegades; it does not capture the common voyage of all artists, the voyage to the “untold want.” To discover Whitman’s underlying principal the other heroes must be dissected. The field of renegades is wide. Gandhi, for example, did not write an awe-inspiring novel or book of verse, but Whitman would undoubtedly laud him. Dr. King tormented racism with civil disobedience. Mother Teresa, despite all that is in human nature, literally gave up her life for lepers. Christ was appalled at the “jeering” (“Song of Myself” pg. 41) of the religious elite to the adulteress. Monet’s revolutionary strokes challenged the traditional norm of painting, a norm that had stood firm since the Renaissance. Lincoln, a figure to whom Whitman wrote numerous poems, sacrificed public image for the unification of a nation.

So much of Western culture is directed towards the self. When you sit down to watch television you are bombarded with advertisements that say you should lose weight, you should eat McDonalds, you should work out more, you should drink Starbucks coffee, you should buy an Apple computer, or you should go the Cubs game. The ironic and circular nature of such advertisements is that they promote the trivial “well being” only to the point that the seller’s well being is fulfilled. We are engaged in a cycle of self-satisfaction. We are constantly indulging in every possible fantasy in search of the “untold want.” We pursue sexual gratification, monetary stability, and traditional ideals in the hope that we may be filled. Whitman challenges these traditional modes of pursuit and proposes a deeper calling to life, a higher nobility crucial to the existence of mankind. The heroes mentioned earlier are pitted against such a cycle. Because of their passion they stand above such hopelessness. Their passion exists outside of their own desires. Renegades have passion for something outside themselves; they long for something deeper.

But, as Whitman would have it, the conversation does not stop here. Like most conclusions this one has only brought more questions: Why? Why do these renegades have passion? How do they see outside themselves? 

I'm supposed to be a writer. I'm supposed to write to America, the country I love. (Please, if in the years to come this doesn't happen, don't quote me. I know God leaves things subject to change.) People here have been told time after time that money and sex and drugs won't make you happen. But they don't really change. Maybe the 50's was a time when they thought they had changed. But really the same thing went on and nobody said anything. People still did drugs and had sex and aborted babies and put needles in their bodies and dropped small white pills in their mouths. Fitzgerald tried to tell people in America that big houses don't fill empty hearts. They refused to listen. They refuse to listen. We refuse to listen. How do I make us listen?

In an amazing scene in The Great Gatsby we see the terror of the American Dream come to corrupted fruition. Gatsby knows he is going to die. He puts a mattress on his shoulder (just as Christ put the cross on his back) and walks to the pool, where he is shot. "The holocaust was complete." 

That's what it is. It's a holocaust. It weighs people down. It weighs you down, doesn't it? It weighs me down like Atlas. Everything on the TV and in the classroom and on the internet tells me to take care of myself. It tells me that money will put a smile on my face. It tells me that money will put a smile on my wife's face. That's bullshit. All of it. There are six billion people on this earth, how many of them do you think about? I think about one. I think about the 19-year-old who stares back at me every day. You know part of the reason we do this? A small fragment of the eternal nature of mankind? We are afraid. We don't want to be renegades. We all slide in to our pathetic subcultures and fall asleep, never to wake up.

God says feed the poor. God says take care of them. What do you do for the poor? What do I do? We say we care about things but then we don't do anything. Forgive me if you actually take action for people who can't take action themselves. I know that there are amazing people (Americans, Christians, and even Republicans) who care for the poor so much more than I do. But as I challenge you I challenge me. We need to wake up, but before we do we need to realize that when we wake up it won't be pretty. We'll lose our lives or our dreams if we decide to be renegades for Christ. But we gain His Kingdom. We gain the privilege to bask in the glorious intimacy of our father. So I challenge you, I challenge me, to take the Bible in hand and read it like a book that is alive and morphing to the demands of our culture. The church is leaving America, my friends. But that doesn't mean we should curl up and pretend like culture doesn't exist. Let us join our Lord in the pursuit of love.